My 14 year old asked me this question again just last week. Up til now, my answer has always been a resounding YES. I knew that she just wanted reassurance, since we regularly enjoy a PG rated makeout in front of the girls while they roll their eyes and pretend to be annoyed. But this time I felt like she was ready for a more mature and, hopefully, more helpful answer.
Dating is around the corner for her. My focus is shifting from reassuring her that our family is secure to giving her the tools she will need to build her own successful marriage someday. It would be a disservice to her to let her believe that the reason my husband and I are still together after nearly 19 years of marriage is because we are still "in love".
Dating is around the corner for her. My focus is shifting from reassuring her that our family is secure to giving her the tools she will need to build her own successful marriage someday. It would be a disservice to her to let her believe that the reason my husband and I are still together after nearly 19 years of marriage is because we are still "in love".
Not exactly, baby. What Daddy and I have goes much deeper than just the feeling of in-love-ness. We choose to not only love each other, but admire and respect each other, take care of each other, and be good friends. We've built a life, a home, and a family together. The butterflies in my tummy were really fun, and God used them to draw us together, but it's not what makes our marriage last. Those feelings come and go. Our relationship is much stronger than that, and what we have now is WAY better.
Not romantic enough for you on Valentine's Day? Sorry. I can't afford to let my daughters believe that a lifelong commitment is based on something as unreliable as a feeling. What a helpless position to be in! I love my relationship with my husband, it is precious to me. Somedays it comes easy, and we laugh and flirt and feel incredibly connected. Other days it's harder, and we choose to love with kind words and preferring the other based on our convictions. Is the future of our marriage in trouble on those days? Of course not. That is what I want my daughters to see in this next season. They don't need to keep checking in to see if we are still in love. Our commitment to one another, before the Lord, is safe and secure because of the people we choose to be, and the investment we choose to make in our bond.
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